Kids Do Say the Darndest Things

Back in the day, Art Linkletter's conversations with kiddos never failed to provide hilarious -- and often unexpected-entertainment, blushing parents notwithstanding. And I continue to be reminded of just such interactions. Case in point: A friend related the following interaction with her grandchild who was sitting in her lap.

He looked up and declared, "Nana, you've got spider webs in your nose" to which she responded, "No, sweetheart, those aren't spider webs, those are hairs." After a closer look, the grandson declared, "No, Nana, I'm pretty sure they're spider webs!" Since becoming a grandfather, I've been able to log my own share of similar experiences indelibly imprinted in mind. It was January, and grandson Kyle was spending the weekend with his Nana and GranStan. We woke that Sunday morning to find our world magically covered with beautiful snow.

After a quick breakfast and suiting up appropriately, Kyle and I ventured outdoors to the storage shed where I located the sled his own mom had played on as a girl.I pulled that child up and down our hilly neighborhood until I thought I'd drop. When I pulled up to catch my breath, three-year-old Kyle exclaimed, "GranStan, I've wanted to do this all of my life!" If I had died on the spot, life would've been worth the living. We tried to provide the grandkids with an enticing play area highlighted bya swing set attached to a treehouse-like structure decorated with colorful L.V.

Hull (The Artist of Kosciusko, MS 39090) hubcaps. Then there was the call from a friend wanting to know if I knew anyone needing a blue commode. Yep, the blue fixture-turnedplanter bearing a sign on the tank declaring "Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go Right Now!" became quite the centerpiece.

Early on grandson Kyle had a penchant for digging, and the designated play area provided the ideal venue. On one occasion I found him digging furiously with his child-sized shovel. He proudly announced that he was digging a hole deep enough to bury Osama Bin Laden!Sounds like he could've saved Obama and Hillary lots of time and trouble.

I recall spending the night with Kyle's family and sleeping with him in his "big boy" bed. I opted to sleep on the side next to the bedroom wall. As fate would have it, when Mother Nature called during the night, I crawled out backwards so as not to awaken my bed fellow.

As I crept back in and just before my head hit the pillow, I hear, "GranStan, did you wash your hands?" Our family was attending the graduation of my niece from a private girl's school in Nashville. It was an outside affair with a string quartet from the Nashville Symphony and the graduates all dressed in white. However, as the honorees were presented their diplomas, their families whooped and hollered just like in Attala County.

I turned to young Kyle who was sitting by me and asked him if he wanted us to do that when he graduates. "Yeah," he answered but after pausing a few seconds added, "but you'll be dead." To prove the little booger wrong, I've sat through his graduations from high school, college,and pharmacy school! Does the saying "Too much sugar for a nickel" sound familiar?

Kyle and little brother Will were spending New Year's Eve with Nana and me and were itching to shoot fireworks (not my favorite activity because of previous experiences). Our launching pad was the rather isolated road in front of our house in our wooded subdivision. Following the chorus of appropriate oohs and aahs, we headed back to the house only to hear, "GranStan, the woods are on fire!" And sure enough they were!!

Important lesson learned courtesy of the Attala County Fire Department whom we had to enlist-drag the pine branches THROUGH the flames rather then BEAT (and spread) them. Our grandsons to this day pronounce that the best New Year's Eve ever! And now it's amazing for me to process that this precocious loquacious grandson will become a father himself (and me a greatgrandfather) in September!

It makes me wonder if his daughter will inherit the gene.