Twists & Turns: Cataracts? Don't Over-React

All kinds of things happen as we get older, and we just have to roll with the punches. Unfortunately, I have never been much of a roller. I tend to get stressed, anxious and even occasionally (depending on the punch) freak out!

So, when I noticed a few months ago that I couldn’t see the words in commercials or TV shows, I knew it was time to see the optometrist.

Of course, my suspicions were confirmed after I told him I no longer could see. He did the exam, sat back, crossed his arms and looked at me. Then he said, “You’re right, you can’t see.” Brilliant deduction. He recommended cataract removal in both eyes.

Well, I checked in with all of my friends who have had said surgery and was told there was no problem, piece of cake, easy peasy. So, I relaxed and looked forward to the first event.

At this point, I’d like to say that all of my friends lied. Okay, so the surgery itself was no problem but the after effects were a bit nerve wracking, for me at least. The daily rounds of eye drops before and after the surgery, the sensitivity to light, no driving, no lifting heavy objects and worst of all for me…no eye makeup…put my brain on high alert! I have no face without mascara!!

Anyway, as I progressed through the process, my anxiety level spiked every time I had to go out I public or friends came over. I wore dark glasses everywhere and made silly jokes about the Terminator, and being in the Witness Protection Program.

Now, my surgeon had done a fantastic job, and I praised him more than once after thanking God almost every time I blinked for guiding his hands.

But as the days went by between surgeries, my anxiety began to build again. It hit a peak when Teddy’s sister had to go to a hospital out of state for a knee replacement on the same day that he and I had an important appointment in town.

The problem was, Teddy had promised to drive her there and this meant he would be gone for a couple of days. Oh God! I’d have to handle the eye drops and everything else alone, not to mention driving myself to the necessary meeting in Teddy’s big extra cab truck. Of course, my car was being used to carry his sister comfortably to and from her surgery.

We live in a city of over 70,000 people and I still wasn’t seeing 100% so navigating the traffic and multiple lanes and turns in a vehicle I wasn’t too familiar with, just about petrified me into not going at all.

But southern girls don’t give up easily, so I got up extra early on the day of the much anticipated ‘trip’, took deep breaths, got the necessary paperwork assembled, checked the weather, put on the obligatory dark glasses and literally climbed up into the truck.

Before I even put the key in the ignition, it dawned on me that it was Friday the 13th. Oh, dear. But I took another deep breath and managed to back out of the garage without hitting a wall or anything of value.

I successfully got out onto our road and headed into town. Perhaps I gave the date too much significance because things went downhill from there.

I drove for a while, stopping at about three traffic lights before realizing that my turn wasn’t this far. Great, I had almost gotten lost on this 3.1mile trip on Friday the 13th.

I managed to find a large parking lot and turned my big white tank around and headed back the way I had Last week the come. I did find the correct turn and finally managed to find the building I needed to go to.

Then Friday the 13th raised its ugly head again. The parking lot was almost full, and I became more anxious as I maneuvered the truck into a space. Well, I kind of took up part of a handicapped slot, but at the time I was feeling a bit of handicapped myself.

I opened the door, stepped down onto the pavement, pressed the ‘lock’ button on the door and feeling somewhat relieved, I headed to the big glass double doors. Then I realized I didn’t have my sunglasses, and I certainly didn’t want anyone to see my current natural face. So, I turned around, went back to the truck and stuck the key into the lock. Unfortunately, I should have used the touchpad on my keychain, because as soon as

I opened the door, the alarm began to blare. Quite loudly.

Panicked, I couldn’t even clearly see which button to push to shut it off. Hoping it would eventually stop, I grabbed my sunglasses, slammed the door and walked away trying to look like I did this sort of thing every day.

Then, as I got to the big glass doors, I found half the building looking out to see what the commotion was. Unfortunately, the pavement refused to open and swallow me.

Then, the blaring stopped, and everyone left the door. I went inside. The account representative I needed to speak with was so very kind and told me she had done the same thing recently. I didn’t really believe her but appreciated her attempt to calm me down.

We discussed the necessary documents, I signed where I needed to, and she left me to go make copies of everything.

It was then, while alone in her office, I looked down and realized I had my shirt on backwards! The unlucky day had struck again!

As you can imagine, I left as quickly as possible, managed to get into the truck without setting the alarm off again and successfully retraced my path home.

I was totally unstrung by this point and was lying down on my bed for a few minutes when the phone rang.

It was the nice young account representative calling to check dan see if I had made it home alright. Well, that capped off my total embarrassment. Now, I not only felt partially blind, and stupid, but old as well.

If you need to have cataract surgery, I’m sure it will go just fine. But stay at home for a while and don’t leave on a day that is jinxed. Best wishes! “IMAGES IN MISSISSIPPI MEDICINE: