Twists & Turns On The Job

One of our nephews recently undertook a search for a new job and it was shocking how arduous it was. He applied about a million times online with no results and after what seemed like forever, I made him just go into the local Walmart and apply in person. He got the job and grudgingly took it. There is nothing wrong with working at Walmart if you need a job, but it certainly wasn't in his original field of study or what he was looking for. However, it paid some of his bills and taught him a few new things about himself and how Americans shop now. But he did not stop looking and several months later, he did secure a very good job at one of our hospitals as a Physician Recruiter, a post he really wanted and to which he was well suited. Considering some of the trials others have gone through to secure a job, I wanted to share a few of them with you because they really had me amused at the lengths to which some people will go to get hired. First of all, there is the RESUME', or as it is currently known, the CV (Curriculum Vitae or Life Course). People got either very creative or very desperate on these. You have to ask yourself, 'Would I hire any of these people?' Here's some of the remarks put on their CV. 'I attended a small high school you never heard of and scored mostly C's on my testing. I'm simply looking for a minimum wage job to add to my relatively inexperienced background.' 'In my last job, I delivered marijuana products and received high praise from my many happy customers.' 'I've never worked in a hospital before, but I have binge-watched every medical program since I was 12. And my favorite, where I think I learned the most, was reruns of ER.' 'Not much experience, but I am learning from my mistakes in life.' The APPLICATION itself can be very confusing to some people as well. When told they would have to lift up to 50 lbs., this person wanted to know '50 lbs. of what?' Another person who seemed to have very little self-esteem and sounded a bit desperate, responded to the question about salary with 'You won't pay me what I'm worth, so I'll settle for minimum wage. Please just hire me, please.' One young man froze when he came across the question of who to call in case of an emergency. He wrote 'girlfriend'. The next question was 'Relationship' and being very blunt and honest he wrote 'Shaky'. Another person who should probably have been applying at Starbucks, when asked to list their skills wrote, 'I can't remember names, but I'm very good at remembering coffee orders'. When the question was asked on the application about how you heard of the job opening, one person wrote, 'Honestly, I was looking at funny cats on the internet and somehow your Careers page came up.' The next step, if you are lucky, is BEING HIRED. This is when you do the job to the best of your ability while showing your boss(es) you are enthusiastic and willing to work hard to get noticed, promoted and hopefully awarded with a raise. My nephew got named Employee of the Month at Walmart the second month he was there. But some people I have observed in the workplace have had trouble with even these suggestions. So, I will give you some words of warning: Do NOT spend your first two weeks on the job trying to determine who gossips the best in the office. Do not share messages with your co-workers from your friends that say things like: Glad you got a new job. Find some new friends while you're there. I'm tired of picking up your pieces. Definitely do not hit on your new boss at your first office party. Do not refuse a job because you think it is beneath you. Put your ego aside and try to learn something from every job you've ever had. We all know the working world has changed drastically in recent years, but good jobs can still be had. You just have to keep 'working at it!' Best wishes and good luck to those of you who are still looking for a job!