Twists & Turns Takes a Turn at Writing

My husband, Teddy Love, reads and proofs every one of my columns. I have been writing 'Twists and Turns' for over 15 years so he is very familiar with my style. It is not his style. Sometimes he laughs, sometimes he frowns and sometimes he suggests alternate phrasing to which I am prone to answer, "No." Well, this month, I'm letting HIM write it and list all of his feelings on his chosen subjects. Oh dear, I think the first subject is Me. That doesn't bode well. But I'll let you decide if you want him to add an occasional column or not.

Hello, I'm Ted (or Teddy) Love and I am going to tell you about one weird little thing my dear wife, Judy does. (There are definitely more than one but to avoid poking that tiger I'll just go with the most recent one.)

She has exactly 47 note pads in a neat stack on her desk. Apparently, these little note pads are for her use only. Who knew? I took the top one off to use the other day and wrote a note for her and she had a hissy fit. It wasn't because of what I wrote but that I wrote on a note pad that she said was SPECIAL!

Considering it was a note pad with MY name, Ted Love, printed on the top, I was at a loss as to why it bothered her. She said it was special because it had MY name printed on it and she was saving it. Saving it to write me a note? Well, I guess this prompted my dear wife, Judy, to hand me a book and say, "Read this." Has any other man read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?" It was published in 1992 and written by a guy named John Gray, a relationship counselor.

I think you need to understand that a lot of his ideas are no longer in fashion with the younger crowd but I decided after skimming the whole thing (I only read Louis L'Amour word for word), I actually found some points for both sides that still have value and probably always should.

I'm no longer a young man, and I have had plenty of time to learn how to deal with women as best as I can. My wife says I'm generous, kind, and thoughtful so I guess I'm doing okay. But she also said I am stubborn and set in my ways. What man isn't? Now, I do realize men and women view each other very differently.

FOR THE MEN: This book says men are from Mars. Why? Because Mars is the Roman God of War and is generally associated with power and masculinity. Most men like to be thought of as strong, powerful and capable.

Being a man, I think I can safely say that a male is primarily focused on himself and his own goals because men have always been framed as providers. Their first thought is not usually asking for a woman's help.

Men don't always like to talk. We prefer to think, read, work, play games and most anything else in silence.

Some men aren't mechanically inclined. In other words, they may not know how to do things around the house. Some tasks are simple, others more difficult.

Men, I suggest that you put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket, not on the floor, not draped over a nice chair in the living room and definitely not on the kitchen island. (I'll tell you right here that kitchen island is a sacred space to a woman and only she can put stuff there).

Also, you must at least know the difference between a hammer and a wrench. Don't buy a chain saw if you only need to take down a wasp's nest and most important of all, if you have absolutely no idea why the water is backing up in the kitchen sink, consult the Internet or a good friend. But, when the wife says, "Call a plumber", for the sake of your marriage, do it.

Now, I for one usually think men should include women in solving their problems (even if they think women are the problem). I have learned over many years that women bring an entirely new set of skills to life's concerns, and men can learn from having their help.

FOR THE WOMEN: Now, let's talk about those ladies from Venus. First off, I dearly love my wife. I just don't always understand her. Most men don't understand how their significant others think and they arrive at conclusions men would never consider.

I have to tell you a true story. In the early decades of the 1900's, Judy's grandfather, W. M. Lacy owned and operated a print shop/newspaper in Magnolia. He once published a book he had written called "Everything Men Know About Women". Every single page was blank. Mr. Lacy was considered a genius by some.

Women are, as we all know, primarily concerned with relationships. This is because they are from Venus, the planet of Love, named after the Roman Goddess of Love. Need I say more?

Women generally like to be helpful, loving and giving. Nothing wrong with that. According to the book, they also thrive on communication. Women like to talk. I think we all know this. Women are very open with their feelings.

Being so totally different, Mars and Venus can clash over things that are very important to both of them. Even if they don't make sense to both of them.

My final comments are: The flaws you notice most often in each other are usually hard-wired into that person. Neither one of you can change each other. This is where love comes in. Be kind, think before you speak and go and read (or skim) another book called "The Five Love Languages".

Footnote from Judy: Thank you for reading Teddy's column. I hope you found it interesting or even mildly amusing. He is my best friend, strongest supporter and my rock. I will share how he defines our life together, "Happy wife, happy life". I think he's got it all figured out!